There is something about endings that my spirit seems to loathe.  I often skip out on ending activities, or ceremonies.  For example, the final climbs on my Outward Bound expeditions I skipped, all of my graduation ceremonies from highschool, college and grad school were foregone.  And it seems I tend to fizzle out, or just sabotage the ending of things.

I would like to change that.  What is it really about anyway?

There is a lot of importance put on endings.  Ceremony, praise, you name it. But what is it really all about?  

From the spiritual perspective I think it is about gathering the energy from the work well done and anchoring what has been accomplished so far.  Taking a long jump, putting all my effort into the jump, and before moving forward again looking at how far I went.  

I need to take a moment at the end, to look at what was learned.  

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Some notes from my personal journal:

Uugh, Monday.  I just don’t feel like doing it.  Why am I doing this anyway?  I am not being paid. Today I am feeling regret for having made these choices in my life that have created so much responsibility, and I just feel like I don’t want to do it anymore.

I am getting the dermatitus on my left arm now.  Need to do yoga and find ways of releasing this stress.  Also, i think it may be something on the sheets in the basement so i am washing them today.

 I am so tired.  It was another intense day.  I decided I was going to do a juice fast to help with the rash.

God help me to feel like I can carry on.  Show me why I am doing this.  Help me to see what you see.

I am grateful God for all you are allowing me to do.  Thank you for bringing these wonderful women into my path so that we can all heal and become who you intend us to be.

There is something in the arena of organizational scholarship that is called "mission creep".  Simply put, this is when the actions of the organization begin to move away from the original mission. 

This can happen for many reasons.  New people can come into the organization with their own ideas, and have the resources and enthusiasm to create these.  It is possible that new ideas can come in and expand the vision, but when the ideas are out of alignment with the initial vision, this is when they can become destructive to the direction and energy of the project.

From the beginning the Community House was designed to be open and receptive to new ideas.  One that was brought by one of the first members of the Chrysalis House was that of providing food for our community.  Although this did not take form in its original conception, this person helped us get access to food through the Mid-west Food Bank, and we also became partners with Peoria Grown.  This addition of providing healthy food to our community has been a great boon to us.

We also had outside 12 step groups come to us and ask to host meetings at our site.  Both our CA and CMA meetings were started in this fashion.  These have been great additions to our focus on healing from addiction.

The amazing work of Stephanie Irving in bringing her program Each One Reach One, has now been a staple in our activity line-up.  This particular group is close to my heart, since it is welcoming to every walk of life, and is focused on creating a powerful network of support.  A true loving community.

That is really what the Community House is about.  Creating healing from our pasts, and opportunities to step into a new future, with the support of loving community.  Loving community, loving community, loving community.  That's what it's all about!

So it is a sad state of affairs, but absolutely necessary that the Chrysalis Sober Living is now closed.  It officially closed its doors to its last resident on the 5th of December, exactly 3 years of the opening.

During that time the house served over a dozen women, and one man.  These women came in and with all intention, they were embraced in loving support.  Nonetheless, the culture of the house degraded until, instead of being a place filled with loving support, it turned into a culture of blame and entitlement.
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That is one thing that the Community House is completely against.  We have no interest in supporting entitlement.  We have no interest in creating dependency, and we have no interest in creating a culture of blame and hostility.  

The wonderful thing is that there is now a women's sober living at New Leaf recovery.  This incredible opportunity is now open to women who are seeking longer term support.  THe Chrysalis House served its time.  This new place is now available and we hope to collaborate and support their efforts.

If anything is to be learned from this experience, it is don't be afraid to let go of what is not serving the higher good.  By keeping too tight a hold on what is not working, you may be shutting the door to what wants to emerge.  

Remember your primary purpose, your vision matters.  Loving Community is possible.