Saying No to what you don't want

Old patterns have a way of repeating themselves.  I tend to see these as powerful fields of energy stuck in my field.  One pattern that I have been battling throughout this project is that of people calling me controlling.

I have heard the phrase repeated so many times now, that I can almost anticipate when someone will say it.  This last time, I even said outloud, "OK, go ahead, bring it on."  And there it was...

The thing about these patterns that can recur in our lives is that they seem to have a life of their own.  Indeed these are energies, or morphic fields as Rupert Sheldrake would call them.  They do have a life of their own.  My goal is to break out of them, and change the field to become in full resonance with my authentic self.

It is interesting that the idea of being controlling is anathama to my core values.  It is completely against the goals and vision of the project.  It is nowhere in my own inner essence.  I desire to see people share their gifts.  I value independence.  The core of this project is based on the theories of Self-Determination.  

When I worked in the public schools, the most common phrase I heard was "You need to control those kids."  And I knew I had no interest in controlling them. I had the interest to inspire them and guide them, and teach them about how they could have a good life through choosing goodness.

And the same was true for all those folks who called me controlling.  I created a space for them to come and heal and discover their path.  But they weren't ready.  My invitations were denied, and eventually the residents took over.  I was pushed aside, and my authority usurped.

The truth is that I never wanted authority.  I had to claim it because people were engaging in behaviors that were destructive.  When I did step in, that is when the title of "controlling" came in and seemed to stick,

But I don't have to give in, and accept a false claim against me.  I can say no.  I can choose to move away from those people and those patterns.  This is the process of coming into greater alignment of who I truly am.  The old patterns may show up, and when they do I can recognize them and say no.

Saying no is my right.  It is your right.  If something is not good for you, or true for you, no matter how many times it shows up, you can say no.