It has been a challenge to re-focus the direction of the energy of the organization.  Clearly there is work to be done in our community and in our world.  We have always sought to encourage people to embrace their gifts and share them with the world.  To do this we believe that people need support and encouragement.

This New Year's day we will be hosting an annual gathering.  Online and in person, our loving community comes together each year to support one another in envisioning a powerful New Year.  We have been meeting this way every year since 2018.  These sessions have shifted from simply setting intentions, to structured goal setting.  The intention this year is on setting a creative goal and working towards it for the entire year.

If you are wanting to live more deeply and share your gifts, join us and connect in loving supportive community.

Find the link here.

www.consciousnessexplorations.com

I have stood up in several instances to bullying, and the typical response is intimidation.  When the person who has power is confronted, the first thing they do is to weild that power against you.  

So I guess I wasn't surprised when I found that my 100$ fine for a few strands of long grass (literally a few foxtails that had sprung up....photo to follow) is now at 200$.  It literally makes me feel physically ill to think of how much money that is.  Especially for those who live in my neighborhood.  To pay 200$ is to not pay heat, electric, phone, food, rent.  These are not insignificant amounts of money.  And for what?  Because there were a few long pieces of grass in the yard?  How is this even a crime?

I had contacted the Department of Community Development and spoke to Deja Jenkins to request a rehearing, she told me there was nothing I could do, and that I would only be meeting with the same person anyway, (John "I have no life" Redlingshafer). Furthermore, had no idea how I could even do this (this shows you how many people even take the time to try to challenge these people). I pointed out that on their very document they sent for me to pay the fine, at the bottom it stated I could petition for a rehearing. I finally went above her head and spoke with the supervisor, Ashley Elias.  To his credit, he did return my call.  He practiced some reflective speech, or whatever it is called when you repeat back what someone says to you.  It actually did make me feel heard, but I don't think he heard me. 

I wound up getting an email back from Deja Jenkins saying that if I wanted to go through with the rehearing I had to send a 60$ rehearing fee, and sign a certain document.  I didn't do any of these things.  I was too tired.  I had made the decision I would try to fight the situation in another way.  So it was interesting that I received the letter that I was now to pay $200. That letter came quick!  They don't mess around when it comes to intimidation, which is what this is really all about.

John Redlingshafer and his buddy Matt Hayes must have horrible lives. I am pretty sure to get a job in code enforcement your training involves drowning kittens, or tripping old ladies as they cross the street. Who else would have the stomach to fine poor people hundreds of dollars for tall grass?  

When I had my first encounter with this dynamic dream team, fighting the high crimes taking place in the lawns of Peorians, I first noticed they were trolling my document that outlined my grievances. 

CLICK HERE TO VIEW DOC
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y1llh7A4P9O5e9mpC23_EodAttrc7hhLJ98vy3YyTvk/edit?usp=sharing

Just looking at it again brings up all of the emotions. 

Back to the story...when I was preparing the document and what I would say during my hearing in Aug of 2022, I saw that there was someone watching, "Anonymous Raccoon" and so when we started the hearing, I could tell these boys had done their homework. I was cut off before I could show any of my images, and John "I have no life" Redlingshafer said, "Let me just ask you one thing," and being naive, not thinking I was getting set up, I allowed him to say his one thing, that was, "Did you have tall weeds outside in the alleyway?"  I answered that yes I did, and then he was like elated! It was his shining moment.  Now he concluded that I was in the wrong because of these tall weeds in the alleyway, and none of my evidence was relevant.  I was guilty, but because he was such a nice guy he would only charge me $50. I was so confused, I was cut off and did not have a chance to say anything in my defense.

But, hey wait, if that is his case, that all they were really concerned about were the weeds outside the gate, then why did he mow down my entire backyard?  Why mow down the blueberry bushes, why cut down our apple tree, our cucumber plants, tomatoes, herbs galore... and why even come in the yard at all?  No, they had done their homework and didn't want me to show how wrong and dishonest they had been.

I believe we are in the era of exposing corruption, and as much as I would like to just leave it all alone and move on with my life, I am compelled to act.  I can advocate where others cannot.  I actually have had multiple scenarios where I was pushed to expose injustice, and in those cases major changes happened.  So I guess I can feel a sense of hope in taking these action.  I do not need to fear.  I know this is the right thing to do.  I know I am doing this, not for myself, but with the hope of impacting the way things are done.  My hope is that these fines can be reduced to something manageable for our residents.  I would like to see them come down to something more like `15$ instead of 100$.

I don't believe that people should be allowed to be completely negligent about their properties, but what constitutes a weed, and what constitutes beauty is a matter of opinion.  Should the government be allowed to call edible foragable plants weeds, fine people, poison people's yards, and cut down their plants?  Absolutely NOT!  Our yards and all of the plants therein should be considered our personal property.  What I have to say is, Joe Dulin, stay off my property!

I am a big believer in the Law of Attraction.  I have seen it impact my life and the lives of those around me.  I know that my thoughts are powerful contributors to the way my intentions are manifested.  How then after all of the challenges and negative experiences can I stay in the positive stream?  Perhaps this is the primary lesson I am meant to learn through all of this?

I have been working on the new vision and mission with little spurts and jumps.  The haltingness of the process has been frustrating, and there have been periods of deep lows.  Moments when I just sit and stare and wonder.  However, because of my own awareness of the important to both validate the present state of feeling, and the critical importance of not spinning out in the mental story telling of the negativity, I have allowed myself those days of staring out the window.  I believe this made all the difference.  I finally believe I have a clear vision to move forward.  One that is exciting and taps into all those areas I feel competent in and desire to share with the world.  Just to share the process on how these arrived, I will map out my evolution here.

The Evolution.

My first start at reorienting had two primary areas of focus. These two areas were chosen by first and foremost eliminating what was not working.  I had to realize my serious limitations.  The First Apprentice program, as powerful and meaningful I felt it was, had to go.  I did not have the skill set to fulfill this vision, and my ability to connect with the larger community was lackluster to say the least.  Secondly, and probably most importantly, I had to relinquish all attempts to work with the addicts in the community.  This had drained me both physically, financially and spiritually.  I gave and gave and gave and in return was slandered throughout the recovery community.  This did great harm to the project and my own reputation.  This had to be cut off completely.  Luckily, the CoDA community is separate and small, so I will be able to partiipate in this amazing 12 step community.  This won't be a part of the project, but might touch back in at somepoint.

Getting to the primary mission, the Youth Programming did continue to develop over the four years of the project.  We held our Art Garage April to October every year.  We developed the Ambassador's of Kindness program, publishing two books and working to operationalize our level one, so that it could be enacted effectively with youth anywhere.  We published several childrens math books, and held Conceptual Math Wizards Level 1 courses.  These were all successes, and furthermore, it was felt that the drama of working with the addict population had taken away the focus that should have been on the youth all along.  The Community House was an extension of the Art Garage.  It was meant to extend that programming, not diminish it.

Now looking at what other new areas were successful. It was clear that some powerful connections were made with women who were also community organizers.  We helped several people start new endeavors, Ann Oesterle, started her own Yoga Studeo, Anna Prana.  We didn't do much, but helped to flame the fire, and offered her the chance to practice her craft at our own studeo at the Community House.  Still we are so proud of her accomplishments, just amazing.  We helped Ryan and Phil with their business, getting it on Google and setting pu their website.  The tragedy here is that they both succombed to their addictions, and Ryan passed away from an overdose last year.  So tragic, as his talent was undeniable and his business had found some incredible success.  More lasting and meaningful connections have been made.  Ethel Pates, founder of Your Lives Matter Outreach Ministry has become a collaborator in the project, and also the Community House has been able to support her work, by assisting with her website.  Another collaborator, Yolanda Wallace, has been a point of hope.  Her own ability to organize and create powerful event for her non-profit, A Mother's War On Violence. https://www.motherswaronviolence.org/, has been an inspiration.

For this reason, I felt collaboration was a necessary piece to keep.

So this was the first iteration:

Youth Programming
and
Collaboration

The more I thought about who I might collaborate with, and how I might support entrepreneurialism, I just kind of froze.  I reached out to a couple places, but they were all dead ends.  Will this be another drain of my energy.  One thing I came to understand about my goal of creating loving community is that I do not have control over what others do.  I cannot dictate their action, or determine their engagement.  This means that to a certain extent, loving community is not something I can actually create.  God can create this.  It happens under certain circumstances.  I can attempt to create these circumstances, but so far I have not been successful in creating loving community. 

So what can I create, what do I have control over.  I can create websites, and books, and art, and I can create opportunities to engage in art and publish your own work, and host events.

If I do these things, community may develop, or it may not, but I am still doing my part.

Something about the collaboration piece just felt too hard.  I struggle with people stuff, so it is ironic that I would create a Community House.  It is a deep longing I have for something that I have lacked and that doesn't come naturally to me.

OK, second iteration, Youth Programming Only.

This was where I was about 3 weeks ago.  Youth programming only.  I felt I could do this.  I focused on first the Math and AOK programs, but realized the baby chicks were an amazing success, and of course the Art Garage.  So it expanded.  I could continue the Art Garage in my own garage, and offer the other programming at other sites.  These are so prevalent all over Peoria and there was no reason I had to limit my offerings to Peoria only.  

So that was decided.

But something was nagging at my heart.  I felt like I was loosing what I loved so much.  That is to encourage adults to share their gifts as well.  I didn't want to only work with kids, although I love it, kids are just starting to discover themselves.  I wanted to find creative adults who wanted to share their gifts and were looking for creative community to foster their dreams.

That was it.  I realized my second purpose.  It wasn't about entrepreneurs, it was about creative people.  It was about supporting Creators!  Entrepreneurs are creators, but by turning the focus onto the creative aspect of it, it allows all of my passion to be present in the vision.  

So here we are now.

Youth Programming
and 
Creators Programming.

I still need to discover the names, but that feel like what the new program wants to become.

​I feel myself being lifted out of the morass and back into the stream of life.  Praise God and may I serve his mission with this vision. 

One of the most disappointing aspects of closing the Community House Sheridan locations was the loss of our foodbank, and our larger Community Garden.  We will beef up our little garden at the 800 house this Spring, but we are not set up to be a full pantry there.

I have always promised myself that I would have food available.  This came from my early experiences with the neighborhood kids.  One of them told me once during the summer months when school was out, "We eat when there is school."  

The food insecurity of our kiddos is very real.  This experience itself is traumaic.  

I continue to commit to having food available at our original location.  This is a cost I am happy to expend.

Julie Eliathambie is very aware of the problem of food insecurity in Peoria.  She is the founder of the non-profit Peoria Grown and Market 309.  She provided a beautiful fruit stand to our community and our kids  loved it.  She came by this past Saturday and picked up the stand.  We got to talking about her program, politics and ignorance (and corruption).  

She has received a 50K grant, and she is grateful for it, but it was not unanimously passed.  She was very critical of the new for-profit grocery store that will be on the South End of the city, where we have grocery store deserts.  Our neighborhood is also a fresh food desert.  The gas station and convenince store is where our neighbors get food.  Many have to vehicles, and some are homebound.

Her issue was that the city has paid 2 million dollars to set up this grocery store that is for profit.  Given to someone with a track record of failure.  

I mirrored her frustration at the incompetence of our leaders.  What is going on here?

I feel more and more driven to participate in the political arena.  It is not OK to allow our city dollars to be misused while the community members struggle and suffer.  It is not OK for the department claiming to want to "develop" community and collecting a paycheck over six figures, to simply harrass the people with tickets, collecting money from those who already struggle with purchasing food and paying their electric bill.  

Many of my community members cannot advocate for themselves.  It is truly a responsibility of those who are able to speak out, to do so.  As much as I prefer working with the kids, making art and teaching, I have been pushed onto this path of community development, and I accept my charge.

I have, throughout my life, avoided certain areas. I avoided formal training in the fine arts.  This was because I thought it was impractical.  I thought there was no way to make a living in this. I now realize I was wrong.

In college, I avoided any business classes.  I considered creating and running a business a selfish affair.  I thought that it was a capitalist endeavor.  I don't think this way any more.

Also, I avoided politics.  I thought it was basically corrupt, that it was divisive and most importantly, that there was no way that I personally could withstand the scrutiny of being in the public eye.  This doesn't mean that I didn't participate on the sidelines.  In fact, at one point, after 9-11 I started an activist group in Montreal called "Americans in Montreal"  We got on the news a couple times, but it wasn't very effective.  It was a good way for me personally to see the inside workings of some of the other activist groups, how they operate and the general dysfunction.  It made me more determined to just do my own thing.

This was another reason I avoided politics.  I did not want to deal with the dysfunctional bureaucracy.  I felt like instead of support, most of these departments actually just slowed down the process, and tried to take over or control or tell you why your idea wouldn't work.  

During this project, I didn't include government.  I did my paperwork, like I was required to do.  I kept records and stayed in integrity, but I avoided going through government channels for other aspects of the program.  I can't say whether this served me or not.  I know that I was 100% focused on building our major programming and didn't have time for much else.  I know that I reached out to other local programs, some of which I still collaborate with today, and some of which I realized we have very different missions.

I have always been a bit of an anarchist (or at least libertarian).  I don't really want the government telling me what to do, and I don't think the goverment officials know what is best for me.  I think people inherently know what is best for them, when they are taught how to tune in, they can start to direct their own lives. The beautiful work of Deci and Ryan on Self-Determination demonstrate that the most self-actualized people are ones who are able to direct their own lives.  These principles of autonomy, relatedness, competency and purpose are the foundation of the programming at the Community House, and drive the general structure of the organization as well.

All of nature is self-organizing, why can't we be the same? Anyway, most of the government officials, sitting far off in their offices, have little awareness of what the local neighborhoods really need.  To understand, one must live, and participate in that local community.  

One thing is for certain, our neighborhood doesn't need to go into fear about weeds in their lawn every couple months when the city decides to do their rounds.